I want to take you back...

but just to last year and only because it's still fresh in my mind. So, I'm writing it down.

Last year, in general, seemed to be a tough year...and not just for me. Looking back, it's true...2014 was tough and I don't want to sugar coat anything here so if that's what you need you'll have to look elsewhere.

Last year I realized relationships change, people change, and life never stops, even if you want it to. But I really wanted it to. I just wanted it to stop for just a week or a month even, maybe longer...but then I'd be greedy, always wanting more. And that's just it. That's military life for you, when your husband is gone more than he's home, you are always wishing you had a little more time. And seriously, sometimes the only reasons were so that we could talk about the shitty stuff...you know, like how to properly reprimand our 14 year old for his sudden lack of respect for his mother, or discussing whether we should continue to allow our beautiful and quickly maturing ten year old daughter to wear short shorts to school, or even touching base on the dreaded "we should have a budget and stick to it" talk...that's my least favorite. Those issues can't be resolved on a unified front if your other half is gone and so I'm left on my own struggling to find the answers and hoping they are the right ones. And often times they aren't.

So, last year I was trying a lot on my own. And I got myself involved in trying to help with stuff that wasn't even mine. All that dirty relationship stuff that wasn't even mine! What the hell was I thinking? I mean, I have my own stuff so why would I take on more? And it nearly killed me. It really did. And that's why this year will be different. This years focus won't be about other people. It's going to be about me. Sound selfish? Yeah, maybe a little but everyone needs to be a little selfish. A high school friend of mine said so and since he said so...I'm taking it!

I encourage all of you to be a little selfish this year. Listen to your body and your mind. If it's telling you to take a break, then take a break. If your body wants to be healthier then eat a little better and walk a little more. Explore the wonders this world has to offer. Explore outside and explore within. I'm excited to find myself again. We were once best friends then I took advantage of me and allowed others to do the same.

This is my year and I'm taking it!